Embarrassing First Date

 General Interest  Comments Off on Embarrassing First Date
Feb 232014
 

  Her First Date Wins the Prize–Funniest First Date

If you didn’t see this on the Tonight Show,      

I hope you’re sitting down when you read it.

       

     This is probably the funniest date story ever, first date or not!!!  We

        have all had bad dates but this takes the cake.

     Jay Leno went into the audience to find the most embarrassing first date

        that a woman ever had.

            

The winner described her worst first date experience.      

There was absolutely no question as to why her tale took the prize!

   

      

She said it was midwinter…snowing and quite cold…

 and the guy had taken

        her skiing in the mountains outside Salt Lake City,Utah.      

It was a day trip (no overnight).They were strangers, after

all, and had never met before.

              

The outing was fun but relatively uneventful,

until they were headed home

        late that afternoon.

       

They were driving back down the mountain,

when she gradually began to realize

        that she should not have had that extra latte!!

            

They were about an hour away from anywhere

with a rest room and in the middle  of nowhere!

       

Her companion suggested she try to hold it,

which she did for awhile.

  

      

Unfortunately, because of the heavy snow and slow going,

 there came a pointwhere she told him that he had

better stop and let her go beside the road, or it

        would be the front seat of his car.

       

     

They stopped and she quickly crawled out

beside the car, yanked her pants   down and started.

 In the deep snow she didn’t have good footing, so she

        let her butt rest against the rear fender to steady herself. Her

        companion stood on the side of the car watching for traffic and indeed was a real gentleman and refrained from peeking.

 All she could think about was the relief she felt despite the rather embarrassing nature of  the situation.

   

      

Upon finishing however, she soon became aware of another sensation. As she   bent to pull up her pants, the young lady discovered her buttocks were  firmly glued against the car’s fender.

Thoughts of tongues frozen to  poles immediately came to mind

as she attempted to disengage her flesh from the icy metal.

 

   

It was quickly apparent that she had a brand new problem,

 due to the extreme cold.

      

Horrified by her plight and yet aware of the humor of the moment, she answered her  date’s concerns about ‘what is taking so long?’ with a reply that  indeed, she was ‘freezing her butt off’ and in need of some assistance!

  

 

    

He came around the car as she tried to cover herself

with her sweater and

        then, as she looked imploringly into his eyes, he burst out laughing.

        She too, got the giggles and when they finally managed to compose

        themselves, they assessed her dilemma. Obviously, as hysterical as the situation was, they also were faced with a real problem. 

 

      

Both agreed it would take something hot to free her chilly cheeks

from the  grip of the icy metal! Thinking about what had gotten her into the  predicament in the first place, both quickly realized that there was

        only one way to get her free. 

 

       

So, as she looked the other way, her first time date proceeded to unzip his pants and pee her butt off the fender.  

 

      

As the audience screamed in laughter, she took the Tonight Show prize

        hands down. Or perhaps that should be ‘pants down’. And you thought your first date was embarrassing.

      

Jay Leno’s comment… ‘This gives a whole new meaning to being pissed  off.’    

       

Oh and how did the first date turn out?

He became her husband and was sitting next to her on the Leno show.

         If you laughed at this pass it on.

      Remember:  If  you haven’t got a smile on your face and

laughter in your heart, then you are just a sour old fart!

 Posted by at 8:40 am

Reversing Diabetes Naturally

 Uncategorized  Comments Off on Reversing Diabetes Naturally
Feb 222014
 

By Don Penven, President and CEO, Brandywine Research

Don Penven

Don Penven
Freelance Writer

Some Very Basic Information About Diabetes

As I explained in my other posts, I am not a physician or health care provider, nor am I an expert on the subject of diabetes, but I have conducted exhaustive research and  have a good grasp on the subject. Much of what I have learned about diabetes is gained from the fact that a family member was diagnosed as being pre-diabetic nearly three years ago.

Diabetes is best explained by saying that it is a disease–but not a disease about the hormone insulin. It is a disease of the pancreas, the organ that manufactures insulin. Insulin has the ability to collect all the sugar (sucrose) and carbohydrates that we consume on a daily basis and it converts it into glucose. Insulin is also kind of like a delivery van. It carries the glucose to our body tissues where the glucose is absorbed by the tissue cells. The cells convert glucose into energy. No glucose, no energy!

Type 2 Diabetes

Up until recently, medical science was baffled as to why the pancreas slows down in its insulin production and why the body cells seem reluctant to accept all of the glucose that is available. This condition is known as type 2 diabetes.This form of the disease usually requires a modification in the diet and medication. When insulin is in extremely short supply, insulin injections are called for.

Type 1 Diabetes

In some cases the pancreas stops production of any insulin at all and treatment calls for medication and insulin shots for the remainder of the person’s life.

Diabetic Symptoms

Many of the symptoms of Type 1 and Type 2 diabetes are similar. In both types, there is too much glucose in the blood and not enough in the cells of your body. High glucose levels in Type I are due to a lack of insulin because the insulin- producing cells in the pancreas have been destroyed. Type 2 diabetes occurs when the body’s cells become resistant to insulin that is being produced. Either way, your cells aren’t getting the glucose that they need, and your body lets you know by giving you these signs and symptoms:

  1. Frequent urination
  2. Being thirsty all the time
  3. Losing weight without even trying
  4. Being overly weak and tired most of the time
  5. A tingling sensation in the hands, legs and feet
  6. Blurred vision
  7. Dry, itchy skin
  8. Cuts and infections that take forever to heal

This is a partial list, but I think you get the picture.

So Is There are Cure For This Dreaded Disease?

No doubt you health care provider has told you that diabetes has no cure. That’s a bunch of crap! Thousands of people just like you have reversed their diabetes that they stopped taking medications and insulin shots. But the media and the drug companies seem to be conspiring to keep this information from you. Why…?

Follow the money!

Sales of diabetes-related drugs amounts to a Multi-Billion Dollar business. Natural cures are becoming plentiful and this has the drug manufacturers in a quandry. You can not patent thnings that grown in farmer’s fields or on trees.

And the mainstream media would suffer because the drug companies spend Hundreds of Millions of Dollars on advertising!

Margie’s Story

As I mentioned in my first post, my wife Margie was diagnosed as being pre-diabetic several months ago. Well this tough old gal decided she was not going on drug or insulin therapy and she began studying diet plans. Her doctor suggested she try a low carb diet but Margie went way beyond that. She set up a diet what was practically no carbs for several months. She completely avoided eating any of the “white” foods like potatoes, white rice, wheat flour and most assuredly–sugar.

Granted, it has been tough on her, but her determination won out over all else. Not only is her blood sugar down within acceptable limits, she lost over 50 pounds! For the past month she has been giving away her “FAT” clothes. She went from a size 18 to a size six in most of her new outfits.

No, I’m not a doctor but here’s what one respected physician says, ““How long can we as a profession afford to keep our heads in the sand regarding the benefits of low carb diets for diabetics?” Dr Richard Bernstein, Author of “Dr. Berstein’s Diabetes Solutions”

My Tip For Today…

So…my tip for today is to begin your recovery by adopting a strict low carb diet. Seriously…you must do this if you have any hope of getting out of the clutches of the Drug Lords.

Future Posts…

My next post will introduce you to a respected scientist and microbiologist who sent shock waves through the health care community with his discovery!

Please leave a comment if you have gotten any insight into diabetes. Share your situation with me and other diabetes sufferers. You may also want to send me an e-mail so that I can alert you to future posts: donpenven(at)gmail.com.

Please have a blessed day!

Don Penven

 

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 Posted by at 11:46 am